Insanity

It's been almost 6 days since my last post, so even though I'm exhausted right now, I wanted to get something up about this past weekend.  Those of you who follow my wife's blog, saw how I was punished for "falling asleep" Saturday night, as well as touching my cock earlier in the week without her permission.  Mixing alcohol and medication always ends up bad.  Lesson learned.  I'd like to personally thank the 5 of you that voted for Corporal Punishment on her blog poll.  I thought of the 5 of you every time the belt struck my skin.  While pain isn't one of my kinks, my cock has decided to go against my wishes and enjoy it. 

So yes, I fell asleep Saturday night.  Well it was more like Sunday morning.  Woke up, gave my wife a nice massage and apologized, then took my beating like a man.  What came after, was a few hours of the most intense sex we have had in a very long time.  I had explained to her during the week, I had a desire to dominate her.  It's something she really enjoys as well.  What I didn't know was how getting beat with a belt and being kept dripping on edge for days would bring out such aggression in me.  She let me push her past any point we'd ever gone verbally and it felt good to get that aggression out.  In the end, we both got what we wanted.  She had multiple orgasms and got fucked really well.  She did put two fingers in my ass when I was having her suck her cum off my cock.  I thought about not letting that happen, but fuck, it felt so good.

Sunday night, while she wrote her blog and posted the pictures of my punishment I ate her to a number of orgasms and we fucked again.  Such a great weekend, I wasn't looking forward to Monday and the work week.

On Saturday, we started a workout program called Insanity together.  We've been talking about getting in shape for a long time and after seeing myself in photo form on her blog, I'm more motivated then ever.  We always make excuses or find reasons to not workout but I'm proud of the fact that after doing the workout Saturday and Sunday, we were both very sore Monday and still pushed through the workout.  We did it again today and we had plans to catch up on some TV we've been recording once our son was asleep... she ended up falling asleep with him.  I'm not far behind.  I haven't had an orgasm since Sunday and have been in too much pain to even think about it the past two days.  I intended on giving her a long massage and hopefully getting her off with my mouth tonight but a three year old can be quite the cock blocker.  Perhaps tomorrow if the mood is right, I'll get a chance to please her.

24/7 Wife Led Marriage

This past Tuesday, my wife came home from a hard days work in an odd mood.  One I wasn't used to seeing.  If I used one word to describe it, I'd use "dismissive".  She wasn't in a bad mood, she gave a compliment on the house work I had done but didn't seem all that interested in me.  I guess you could say I was feeling needy, but it's a strange experience cleaning someones closet space around 5pm and thinking "what if something happen to her and that's why I haven't heard back all day".  That may seem like an odd thought to have but I have really bad anxiety issues.  No, I'm not a head case, but I do probably worry too much. 

She had a stressful, long day at work.  She was so busy, that she couldn't find a second to return a text message or make/receive a call the entire day.  She leaves for work very early and returns around dinner time.  It's a long day for her and for myself, it's difficult not having any adult contact or conversations all day long.  I look forward to her return.  On this day, more so, since I hadn't been able to have any contact until then. 

Her dismissive attitude (from my perception), rubbed me the wrong way.  She seemed like she just wanted to be left alone.  To be given time to relax.  "What... what do you want"?  Was something she had said a few times.  I expressed my displeasure with no hearing from her all day and it was met with basically a shrug of her shoulders and a "too bad" facial expression.  So I began to return the attitude back.  "So then just go to sleep", was one thing I said.  She clearly didn't like that, not at all.  This type of spat while I wouldn't call it regular but it happens often enough.  She usually a bit more ruthless then I am and I just try to save face, return fire but avoid crossing the same lines she's willing to disregard.

It was at this point, she corrected me.  You see, we started this "wife led marriage" sexually.  At least in my head.  The reality of the complete dynamic change in our marriage hadn't clicked for me.  When my "go to bed", was returned with "now we'll see the next time you get to cum will be", my eyes grew wide.  What was a game to me, just became real.  Now I wasn't having second thoughts at all.  It honestly was music to my ears.  This wasn't a game we were going to play.  She had decided on her own, which I learned later in the night, months ago, that this is what our marriage needed.

What took place after and throughout the night and into the morning hours was so intense.  The best sexual experience of my life?  Yes, I'd call it that.  I've heard of something called "subspace" before, this may have been my first time experiencing this.  I will wrap this up here, sparring the play by play since this was a lot longer then I intended when I sat down to write about it.  Hopefully my wife finds some time this week to write about it from her perspective. 

Opening up for anal

Since I discovered porn on the internet in my teens, I've been obsessed with femdom related themes.  Most of which, I would watch or read about, masturbate to (daily) and often right after I'd cum, I would tell myself "I could or would never actually do that". 

When I was younger, I would watch strapon pegging regularly.  Sometimes, I would get so into it, I'd try a finger in my ass.  It was never spectacular and usually made me feel foolish for getting all sticky and dirty.  Yet my desire to view it never went away.  I collected it even.  To me, it was always going to be my secret fetish.  Something I went to when I wanted to get off.  Nothing more.  I heard a few women make comments at how "gay" a guy who would let a female use a strapon on him was.  Those instances settled it for me... I would never admit to being open to try it for fear of rejection. 

My wife discovered my fetish over time and we dabbled in a little.  We even purchased a strapon harness and small beginner dildo attachment for it.  We gave it a go about two or three times, but it was early on in our marriage and I don't feel either of was comfortable with what was happening to really enjoy the role reversal.  It was an experience that wasn't as bad I thought it would be, she didn't reject me when she found out about it.  But it didn't live up to the fantasy either.  Honestly, I believe we weren't ready yet.  We hardly even talked dirty to each other during vanilla sex then, something we do very well now.  To me, that just goes to show that there was a lack on comfort there.  At least to the level that it exists now.

Well, that was until 2 days ago.  Something had come over my wife and she began to let the domme of my fantasies loose.  Without a lot of warning, two nights in a row, she finger fucked my ass while jerking off my cock.  She had done this in the past but it NEVER felt as good as it did these past two times.  The 2nd day, she literally gave me a innie orgasm and I didn't even think that was possible.  I've heard of it but in my past anal experiences, wrote it off as a myth. 

Hoping she will continue to play with me in this way.  It's a kink that's been in my head for a very long time.

Here we go...

So I registered on here to write this blog the same day my wife opened hers.  She had posted in explicit detail about our first day in our "wife led marriage".  We have different styles and giving the play by play just isn't mine.  What fun would that be anyway, we'd just post the same thing.  So, it took me 24 hours to finally get this first entry flowing onto the computer screen.

Tonight, we had a night out with family for our 4th anniversary but could not find a baby sitter for the night.  So our plans were cut a little short as far as the "after party" goes.  She is sound asleep next to me and while I'm exhausted myself, I feel it's my duty to keep pace with her in the "blogging" department, like I had promised I would.

Here I could go into detail about who am I, what it is that made me this way, the reasons behind our decision to pursue a wife led marriage but I plan on keeping this blog updated regularly and over time, I'll have a chance to discuss all of this.  So a quick summary will have to do for now. 

I am 29 years old, married for four years now with a 3 year old child.  My wife is 27 years old and the main bread winner for our household.  She has begun referring to my role as "house manager".  Honestly, I have little clue to what I am doing but I'm trying to learn and become efficient at it.  I served in the United States Marine Corps and met her when I was discharged (honorably) from the Marines during the Summer of 2005.  She has been the center of my universe since.

Outwardly to the world, I'm not a typical "submissive" male.  In fact, I'm quite the opposite.  Which oddly enough, is probably what attracted my wife to me in the first place.  My kinks and desire to be ultimately submissive to one female was something I began to pick up on myself when I was in my late teens.  The internet opened the world of "fetishes" to me and I found myself enthralled with various female domination themes.  My biggest kink initially was strapon porn.  I read some erotic femdom stories when I was about 16 and that sparked my interests in strapon sex.  The thought hadn't even crossed my mind till that point.

It was always a closet fetish, found myself often times deleting material or going to extensive lengths to keep it my little secret.  When things became serious between my wife, she began to discover my secret desires through awkward finds, browser & download histories and my meek explanations of her discoveries. 

Jump forward to the present.  Now in my current role as "house manager", which I'll be honest, I'm not excelling at.  It's difficult to maintain a 50/50 balance in our current relationship.  My wife is trying to appeal to my kinks, I've mentioned a desire to pursue a "wife led marriage" in the past.  I've even tried getting her to read literature on it to spark her interest.  Up until this point, our marriage has been vanilla.  Not that there is anything wrong with vanilla, the sex has always been amazing (for me).  I enjoy the "top" role as well but my intense desire to submit and my femdom kinks aren't going away.  I feel like she is my queen and under her direction, I can become a better man, husband and father.  I'm excited to see where our relationship will lead and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about finally getting some of what I've been fantasizing about for a really really long time.