This past Tuesday, my wife came home from a hard days work in an odd mood. One I wasn't used to seeing. If I used one word to describe it, I'd use "dismissive". She wasn't in a bad mood, she gave a compliment on the house work I had done but didn't seem all that interested in me. I guess you could say I was feeling needy, but it's a strange experience cleaning someones closet space around 5pm and thinking "what if something happen to her and that's why I haven't heard back all day". That may seem like an odd thought to have but I have really bad anxiety issues. No, I'm not a head case, but I do probably worry too much.
She had a stressful, long day at work. She was so busy, that she couldn't find a second to return a text message or make/receive a call the entire day. She leaves for work very early and returns around dinner time. It's a long day for her and for myself, it's difficult not having any adult contact or conversations all day long. I look forward to her return. On this day, more so, since I hadn't been able to have any contact until then.
Her dismissive attitude (from my perception), rubbed me the wrong way. She seemed like she just wanted to be left alone. To be given time to relax. "What... what do you want"? Was something she had said a few times. I expressed my displeasure with no hearing from her all day and it was met with basically a shrug of her shoulders and a "too bad" facial expression. So I began to return the attitude back. "So then just go to sleep", was one thing I said. She clearly didn't like that, not at all. This type of spat while I wouldn't call it regular but it happens often enough. She usually a bit more ruthless then I am and I just try to save face, return fire but avoid crossing the same lines she's willing to disregard.
It was at this point, she corrected me. You see, we started this "wife led marriage" sexually. At least in my head. The reality of the complete dynamic change in our marriage hadn't clicked for me. When my "go to bed", was returned with "now we'll see the next time you get to cum will be", my eyes grew wide. What was a game to me, just became real. Now I wasn't having second thoughts at all. It honestly was music to my ears. This wasn't a game we were going to play. She had decided on her own, which I learned later in the night, months ago, that this is what our marriage needed.
What took place after and throughout the night and into the morning hours was so intense. The best sexual experience of my life? Yes, I'd call it that. I've heard of something called "subspace" before, this may have been my first time experiencing this. I will wrap this up here, sparring the play by play since this was a lot longer then I intended when I sat down to write about it. Hopefully my wife finds some time this week to write about it from her perspective.
