Opening up for anal

Since I discovered porn on the internet in my teens, I've been obsessed with femdom related themes.  Most of which, I would watch or read about, masturbate to (daily) and often right after I'd cum, I would tell myself "I could or would never actually do that". 

When I was younger, I would watch strapon pegging regularly.  Sometimes, I would get so into it, I'd try a finger in my ass.  It was never spectacular and usually made me feel foolish for getting all sticky and dirty.  Yet my desire to view it never went away.  I collected it even.  To me, it was always going to be my secret fetish.  Something I went to when I wanted to get off.  Nothing more.  I heard a few women make comments at how "gay" a guy who would let a female use a strapon on him was.  Those instances settled it for me... I would never admit to being open to try it for fear of rejection. 

My wife discovered my fetish over time and we dabbled in a little.  We even purchased a strapon harness and small beginner dildo attachment for it.  We gave it a go about two or three times, but it was early on in our marriage and I don't feel either of was comfortable with what was happening to really enjoy the role reversal.  It was an experience that wasn't as bad I thought it would be, she didn't reject me when she found out about it.  But it didn't live up to the fantasy either.  Honestly, I believe we weren't ready yet.  We hardly even talked dirty to each other during vanilla sex then, something we do very well now.  To me, that just goes to show that there was a lack on comfort there.  At least to the level that it exists now.

Well, that was until 2 days ago.  Something had come over my wife and she began to let the domme of my fantasies loose.  Without a lot of warning, two nights in a row, she finger fucked my ass while jerking off my cock.  She had done this in the past but it NEVER felt as good as it did these past two times.  The 2nd day, she literally gave me a innie orgasm and I didn't even think that was possible.  I've heard of it but in my past anal experiences, wrote it off as a myth. 

Hoping she will continue to play with me in this way.  It's a kink that's been in my head for a very long time.

Here we go...

So I registered on here to write this blog the same day my wife opened hers.  She had posted in explicit detail about our first day in our "wife led marriage".  We have different styles and giving the play by play just isn't mine.  What fun would that be anyway, we'd just post the same thing.  So, it took me 24 hours to finally get this first entry flowing onto the computer screen.

Tonight, we had a night out with family for our 4th anniversary but could not find a baby sitter for the night.  So our plans were cut a little short as far as the "after party" goes.  She is sound asleep next to me and while I'm exhausted myself, I feel it's my duty to keep pace with her in the "blogging" department, like I had promised I would.

Here I could go into detail about who am I, what it is that made me this way, the reasons behind our decision to pursue a wife led marriage but I plan on keeping this blog updated regularly and over time, I'll have a chance to discuss all of this.  So a quick summary will have to do for now. 

I am 29 years old, married for four years now with a 3 year old child.  My wife is 27 years old and the main bread winner for our household.  She has begun referring to my role as "house manager".  Honestly, I have little clue to what I am doing but I'm trying to learn and become efficient at it.  I served in the United States Marine Corps and met her when I was discharged (honorably) from the Marines during the Summer of 2005.  She has been the center of my universe since.

Outwardly to the world, I'm not a typical "submissive" male.  In fact, I'm quite the opposite.  Which oddly enough, is probably what attracted my wife to me in the first place.  My kinks and desire to be ultimately submissive to one female was something I began to pick up on myself when I was in my late teens.  The internet opened the world of "fetishes" to me and I found myself enthralled with various female domination themes.  My biggest kink initially was strapon porn.  I read some erotic femdom stories when I was about 16 and that sparked my interests in strapon sex.  The thought hadn't even crossed my mind till that point.

It was always a closet fetish, found myself often times deleting material or going to extensive lengths to keep it my little secret.  When things became serious between my wife, she began to discover my secret desires through awkward finds, browser & download histories and my meek explanations of her discoveries. 

Jump forward to the present.  Now in my current role as "house manager", which I'll be honest, I'm not excelling at.  It's difficult to maintain a 50/50 balance in our current relationship.  My wife is trying to appeal to my kinks, I've mentioned a desire to pursue a "wife led marriage" in the past.  I've even tried getting her to read literature on it to spark her interest.  Up until this point, our marriage has been vanilla.  Not that there is anything wrong with vanilla, the sex has always been amazing (for me).  I enjoy the "top" role as well but my intense desire to submit and my femdom kinks aren't going away.  I feel like she is my queen and under her direction, I can become a better man, husband and father.  I'm excited to see where our relationship will lead and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about finally getting some of what I've been fantasizing about for a really really long time.